Bozo & His Cherished Foes

Pop Quiz –

Who is Marcia Fudge?

Wally Herger?

John Spratt?

Joe Wilson?

You’re one for four on the quiz, I’ll bet.

I’ll return to the one you know momentarily. I picked the other three names at random from the Official Alphabetical List of the House of Representatives of the United States, One Hundred Eleventh Congress.

It seems that none of these poor souls has ever behaved inappropriately on camera. None has unleashed a string of profanity at a child, spouse or staffer. None has had a spouse change residence in the middle of their term. None has even been seen kicking a mangy dog.

How do they ever expect to achieve clout and renown? How will they ever have their fundraising enhanced by censure from their colleagues? How will they ever achieve buzz about higher office or a book deal or an appearance on America’s Next Top Chef, if tape of their misconduct isn’t played over and over and over and over and over and over … again on Fox and ABC/CBS/NBC and CNN or some media outlet people actually watch?

Given their media savvy deficits, I want to briefly answer the “who is” question for the first three members:

Marcia Fudge is a Democrat representing Ohio’s 11th Congressional District. She serves on the House Science & Technology and the House Education and Labor Committees. She is in her first full term, having been elected to fill the remainder of the term of the late Stephanie Tubbs Jones in November 2008.

Wally Herger represents California’s 2nd District. As a Republican, he is the ranking member of the Health Subcommittee of the House Ways & Means Committee. This is a man upon whom our President would undoubtedly love to do a full Lyndon Johnson.

John Spratt is a Democrat representing South Carolina’s 5th District. He is the CHAIR of the House Budget Committee. Yes we’ve all heard of Bozo the Clown. I wager you can tell me the state if not the actual district he represents. That would be the 2nd. It is directly south of the 5th. Still few of us have heard of Rep. Spratt who arguably has more impact on the course of our daily lives than our mothers.

So thanks to his rudeness and violation of House protocol Bozo has raked in over a million dollars. Can’t beat bad press if you’re a right wing zealot. Now Bozo is clearly a flavor of the week so his renown and fundraising prowess should decline pretty rapidly (I give you Joe the Plumber) as a new flavor of the week predictably emerges. Unless the Democratic caucus does as the Democratic caucus seems hell bent on doing and censures Bozo for his outburst.

This will be the most useless sort of political grandstanding, it will send either side scuttling back to their base while accomplishing nothing. At best, the Democrats will appear like a prissy, constipated, purse lipped seventh grade teacher shrieking, “This … this will go on your permanent record!” We all know how much that meant and so does Bozo.

But Bozo’s base will be able to carry on as though some grievous injustice has been perpetrated and that Bozo is a hero and a martyr. Not a martyr as in arrows and a loincloth or being stoned to death or flayed alive, but martyr in the sense of “click on donate and send what you can today.” Or, I’m a martyr now, no more flavor of the week for me. Martyrs have staying power.

Why can’t the Democratic caucus see that if they stiffle their ersatz outrage, ignore Bozo and move on with the business of the House, that the media will quickly grow tired of Bozo and he will fade back into the grey legion of ill-mannered Republican back-benchers? Back benchers who follow an equally ill-mannered leadership.

If the Democratic caucus needs to censure someone for his conduct during the President’s address, I commend to their attention Eric Cantor. Censuring Cantor would send a valuable signal to all Americans that texting or otherwise attending to a devise while an actual human being is in the room speaking to you is completely unacceptable and worthy of the highest censure.

I could then be prevailed upon to send a generous donation.