Fraternal Twins?

Separated at Birth?

The parallels are uncanny. Both these men of the people vacationed on Martha’s Vineyard. Both had first terms blighted by failed health care reform proposals (come on, it’s only a matter of time). Both were proclaimed the first Black President (one by Toni Morrison, one by everyone in the universe). Both are wildly charismatic.

Given the uncanny parallels, if I were you Michelle I’d fire all the interns. All of them. Every last one. ‘Cause you’d probably be moving from the White House to the Big House when you were done with him.

There is one huge difference between these men. When the wrong speech was loaded into the teleprompter for an address to Congress on (conspiracy theorists take note) healthcare reform, one of them spoke for seven minutes from memory. And no one in the House chamber was any the wiser. There is some question as to whether the other can bid his wife good morning without benefit of a teleprompter.

More on Birth

I was terrified by a quote in a column in Politico by Glenn Thrush in which the press secretary for almost birther Congressman Trent Franks (R-Ariz) explains that the good Congressman believes: “It should not be too much to ask for the leader of the free world to allay the concerns of a large number of the people he represents by producing his long-form birth certificate, which is the definitive, inarguable way that he can put people's concerns about his national identity to rest for good.” Not that the Congressman himself doesn't believe President Obama is a natural born American citizen and quite eligible to be president.

Long form birth certificate? Could I be Kenyan? My Certification of Birth issued by The City of New York is 7”x 6”. Could it be shorter? And New York issues a long form! My state of birth issues a long form and yet I only have the short form. How do I have the nerve to vote? Will I be given time to say goodbye to my “family" before I’m deported?

Now I can never live my dream of being President. A big house in a quiet neighborhood with full time security and a staff that someone else pays? I’m shocked there aren’t tens of thousands of candidates every four years. But I don’t have what it takes to stand up to Ron Paul (the original birther; and even if there is a certificate, both parents have to be American citizens so he still can’t be President; and oh, how about that Kenyan birth certificate? Talk about a smoking gun!). The man makes Michelle Bachman look sane.

No matter how you cut it, the birth issue hasn't treated the leader of the free world kindly. Good thing the house is so nice.